The Heebie-Jeebies
Come rain or shine, ghosts, goblins, and those snaggletooth witches perched on broomsticks bring the heebie-jeebies every year. The summer sun is far away and a cold eery wind chills down to the bone. The graveyard no longer is at peace. The moon is blood red and full. Black cats line fences while scarecrows stand alone.
Jack-o'-lantern innards were harvested long before caramel apples went out treating. Faces torn, blood dripping, eyeballs lost, and contorted bodies beacon appreciation for the quiet disembodied.
Candy corn, oranges, Three Musketeers, and freshly made popcorn balls are sacred offerings for all of the wandering dead. Yikes! A sword, a chain, a gator just knocked on our door.
Green hairy monsters play pranks on old cranks then slink away looking for more. But wait. There is hope headed our way from just down the street. A sailor, a policeman, and Indian Chief salute while a friendly looking doctor opens our gate.
A tiny ballerina twirls on her toes while tapping her sparkling wand against a stone. Unexpectedly, Spiderman leaps on to the porch and his hobo pal drops a plastic stogie among the gore. As always, Uncle Sam is glorious in red, white, and blue. Whew, the undertaker must have messed up 'cause there is a vampire following him with a big, empty sack.
Don't mess with those wretched ones. Give 'em whatever they want so they'll leave. They shriek loudly as they rush to lurk next door but don't be fooled. Oh, sure. You think they're gone for good. Wait and see. There will be more.
There is such a longing for Snow White or even a dwarf or two. Nemo and Dora would be refreshing to see but here is yet another ghoul who lives with bats in a cave and makes his living by robbing graves.
What has our world come to after all? Have the little angels ascended and did sweet Scooby Doo lose his way?
Grief! Someone must have starved that pour soul over there for now he is only a skeleton clanking along his way in a crowd. He has surely ushered in Día de los Muertos. Heaven forbid.
An everyday cowgirl would surely be nice to see. But no! Coming down the walk is --oh, my gosh! -- a smelly, ugly pirate wearing skull and bones on his head, brandishing a long sword, and hopping on a wooden peg.
Robin and Batman screech to a halt. This must surely be a hallucination for now it seems that Peter Pan is holding the tiny hand of the Little Mermaid and a handsome black devil, whose tail drags behind, jumps up shaking his pitchfork while holding out one hand.
There is a horse in our yard, a panda and gorilla, too. We have no offerings for such beasts. What shall we do?
Run, run, run, all you innocent ones because a humongous red fire-snorting dragon is getting out of a car. A car? A dragon in a car?
This night calls for a long, long rest. Hearts are stressed and cannot take more scare.
S-h-w-i-s-h. Glitter, glitter.
"OOOOOh, We are sooo glad to see you Fairy God Mother -- welcome."
(Whisper, whisper.)
"WHAT? No one said this was just make believe."
(Pondering.)
"Hey! All you ghosts, goblins, and snaggletooth witches; you dragons, beasts, and ugly 'ole pirates; just come back next year. We'll be waiting and ready for you!"
© Coninc, TheDownsideUp.com, Short Stories For Short Folk 2009 (Library of Congress 1-147158261, pending)(Original Publication 2007)
Jack-o'-lantern innards were harvested long before caramel apples went out treating. Faces torn, blood dripping, eyeballs lost, and contorted bodies beacon appreciation for the quiet disembodied.
Candy corn, oranges, Three Musketeers, and freshly made popcorn balls are sacred offerings for all of the wandering dead. Yikes! A sword, a chain, a gator just knocked on our door.
Green hairy monsters play pranks on old cranks then slink away looking for more. But wait. There is hope headed our way from just down the street. A sailor, a policeman, and Indian Chief salute while a friendly looking doctor opens our gate.
A tiny ballerina twirls on her toes while tapping her sparkling wand against a stone. Unexpectedly, Spiderman leaps on to the porch and his hobo pal drops a plastic stogie among the gore. As always, Uncle Sam is glorious in red, white, and blue. Whew, the undertaker must have messed up 'cause there is a vampire following him with a big, empty sack.
Don't mess with those wretched ones. Give 'em whatever they want so they'll leave. They shriek loudly as they rush to lurk next door but don't be fooled. Oh, sure. You think they're gone for good. Wait and see. There will be more.
There is such a longing for Snow White or even a dwarf or two. Nemo and Dora would be refreshing to see but here is yet another ghoul who lives with bats in a cave and makes his living by robbing graves.
What has our world come to after all? Have the little angels ascended and did sweet Scooby Doo lose his way?
Grief! Someone must have starved that pour soul over there for now he is only a skeleton clanking along his way in a crowd. He has surely ushered in Día de los Muertos. Heaven forbid.
An everyday cowgirl would surely be nice to see. But no! Coming down the walk is --oh, my gosh! -- a smelly, ugly pirate wearing skull and bones on his head, brandishing a long sword, and hopping on a wooden peg.
Robin and Batman screech to a halt. This must surely be a hallucination for now it seems that Peter Pan is holding the tiny hand of the Little Mermaid and a handsome black devil, whose tail drags behind, jumps up shaking his pitchfork while holding out one hand.
There is a horse in our yard, a panda and gorilla, too. We have no offerings for such beasts. What shall we do?
Run, run, run, all you innocent ones because a humongous red fire-snorting dragon is getting out of a car. A car? A dragon in a car?
This night calls for a long, long rest. Hearts are stressed and cannot take more scare.
S-h-w-i-s-h. Glitter, glitter.
"OOOOOh, We are sooo glad to see you Fairy God Mother -- welcome."
(Whisper, whisper.)
"WHAT? No one said this was just make believe."
(Pondering.)
"Hey! All you ghosts, goblins, and snaggletooth witches; you dragons, beasts, and ugly 'ole pirates; just come back next year. We'll be waiting and ready for you!"
© Coninc, TheDownsideUp.com, Short Stories For Short Folk 2009 (Library of Congress 1-147158261, pending)(Original Publication 2007)
Labels: Short Stories For Short Folk
posted by KKHC | 9:05 AM
