THE DOWNSIDE UP

Miscellaneous writings which include humor, politics, and poetry. (Copyright protected.)

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Ahoy, Matey!

Ahoy, Matey! Each September 19th is Talk Like A Pirate day so it is time to begin a bit of review. A pirating we go.

When we see the Jolly Roger skull and crossbones we know pirates are lurking. The flag began as the Roger and Jolly was added down the road.

All glamour aside with peg legs, eye patches, and hooks for hands, the scallywags did have missions, some legitimate and some down right illegal. Government employed pirates disabled enemy missions. Ultimately, all pirates robbed at sea and some even on land. Maybe they had a good side, too. Didn't they love parrots so much they let them sit on their shoulders? Eeeewwweee yuk.

By their loyal public, gentlemen o' fortune were both loved and cursed, as it remains today. Pirates even were able to recruit many of those they captured to become one of their own. (There is nothing quiet like joining up when the only other choice is decapitation.)

Blackbeard was famous because he was so ruthless and cuel. Maybe because he looked so ugly and scary, too. (If any one ever needed the talent of a hairdresser, it was Blackbeard.)

He will long be remembered for his ship Queen Anne's Revenge. After his modification, it sported forty cannons. Those were unavailable to him during a ferocious battle on another of his ships when the Royal Navy, led by Lieutenant Maynard, shot, stabbed, and beheaded Blackbeard. (He should have stayed with the cannons.) His headless, lifeless body was thrown overboard and legend has it that Blackbeard then swam around the ship before he sunk. His head found a less than comfortable place on the ship's bowsprit as a trophy for Maynard and his irrebuttable evidence to the world of his victory.

The names Henry Morgan, Black Bart and Captain Kidd give us plenty of cause to tremble in fear. But least we forget, the beloved Captain Hook lives on right next to our vivid memories of sweet Tinker Bell and boy forever Peter Pan.

There was even then, in the olden days, the great divide between male and female. Female creatures were forbidden from occupying pirate ships. It was a world for the guys; the early version of a Men's Only Club.

As the gender discrimination law was not yet written, women were left to their own devises (and disguises). The proclamation against seafaring women was short lived, however.

Adventure is indiscriminate when it calls. Anne Bonny and Mary Read are two of the most famous female pirates but there were others. All dressed in men's clothing and otherwise disguised themselves. Bonny and Read sailed with Calico Jack and fought equally beside their male counterparts. It is rumored that Bonny said Calico wouldn't have died if only he had fought like a man! (Now that is a tough talking lady pirate.)

Calico's ship was captured and after some type of trial (probably not by a fair and impartial jury), both Bonny and Read were sentenced to death. Then came the revelation that they were women and not only that, but pregnant women. Read later died in prison and Bonny's fate is unknown. She may be near, waiting to ambush.

Grace O'Malley was likewise a famous female pirate though she began life as the daughter of a legal sea merchant. Her father refused to let her sail with him so she shaved her head and dressed like her brothers. When she was discovered, she was called bald Grace and she later became known as Granuaile. In her youth she once saved her father from death by warning him of a pirate sneaking up from behind. Grown, Granuaile became a fine leader. She coupled her sea duties with rearing a family. In her more mature years she was sentenced to be executed but managed to evade that declared fate. She eventually was received as a guest by Queen Elizabeth.

Authors and screen writers keep Pirate legends alive and lively in the pages of books and on movie screens. The pirate business has never been so good as it is right now. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End made a whopping $401 million dollars at the box office during the first six days of release. Not too bad, uh?

Yo-ho-ho. Don't be a lily-livered landlubber, Matey. Board a furner to avoid walking the plank at the direction of blind buccaneer Pew which would end you in Davy Jones' Locker while me hearty go to the Fiddlers Green.

© Coninc., TheDownsideUp.Com 2007

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