THE DOWNSIDE UP

Miscellaneous writings which include humor, politics, and poetry. (Copyright protected.)

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Dannielynnpunzel and Stern Dragon

Dannielynn is a tiny person, but a person all the same. The details of her fate are unknown. Life has dished out hard reality during her earth months. Her only brother departed quickly, then her mother went searching for him and won't return.

The resting place of Anna Nicole is in an uproar. She should be buried next to her son. If need be, her location can later be changed. Refusing to stay put in death would be so, well so -- so Anna Nicole.

Otherwise, it's not about Anna Nicole any more. It is about tiny person and her biological father, grandmother, and care giver. We know the identity of two out of three.

Unless there is court intervention, Dannielynn's estate will tag along with her. Which Country and State have legal control over the multiple questions is best left to scholars, but the bottom line is that Dannielynn must be protected by a network that guarantees her mental and physical safety and provides a consistent nurturing foundation for development.

Presumably, Dannielynn is bonded with Howard K. Stern, her mother's former companion and lawyer. The degree of bonding is unknown, but any bonding at Dannielynn's age is critical to her further development and should not be disrupted so long as she isn't in danger.

There is quite a stir over who fathered Dannielynn. DNA testing likely will reveal the identity of the sperm donor, a legal stranger to Dannielynn, who then is required to seek legal status through a court. Doing so will take some time and all the while Stern has possession of tiny person and continues to cement their Bahamian residency. For him, every day is another mile won in a race where he had a big headstart. Stern was already sprinting before anyone else knew there was going to be a race. Unless he is ousted of Dannielynn through a criminal process, Stern's legal strategy brings to mind the saying that possession is nine-tenths of the law.

Larry Birkhead claims responsibility. If he lived in Pampa, Texas, sperm donor or not, it would be permissible for him to just kidnap Dannielynn. Readers may remember an article in this column entitled Welcome to Bubbaville, Bubba about the Police Chief disregarding the legal rights of a child by permitting a legal stranger to keep possession of her because he claimed to be her father. Just as Birkhead, that man admitted he had never been married to the mother and did not have a decree of paternity. In the Pampa situation the child's mother, a minimum wage earner, had to borrow money to hire a lawyer and file a lawsuit to regain possession of her own child. Eventually, she did so but will long struggle from the emotional scars and financial hardship thrust on her by the Chief's refusal to obey the law.

Vergie doesn't know Dannielynn but she isn't a legal stranger. That is so because we know who Dannielynn's mother was and Vergie was Anna Nicole's mother. It's not gender discrimination. It's the maternal law of nature.

Like it or not Stern and Vergie are in the picture. They are not friends. A bona-fide hostage negotiator would be challenged to get Stern or Vergie to put down their swords, but Dannielynn needs to bond with her grandmother. After all, Vergie was her brother's primary care giver until he was six, then Howard Marshall II came on the scene. Stern cannot change that Vergie is Dannielynn's natural roots. For Dannielynn's sake, Stern should invite Vergie to spend time with her granddaughter in the Bahama castle. It is doubtful that Stern would ever allow Dannielynn on U.S. soil because she would then definitely be subject to American court jurisdiction. The longer Stern has tiny person in his possession abroad, the higher his odds are to keep her permanently. For now, he's calling the shots.

Like King Solomon, the courts will finally get around to making the right legal decision but time is precious when you're five months old. Realistically, Dannielynn could be jetting around town driving her own Ferrari watching these wheels of justice still turning.

If the tiny person could be triangled, Vergie, Stern, and Birkhead could receive equal thirds. If Prince Frederic von Anhalt's DNA shows up, he may get Birkhead's proposed third but will still have to make his way to the far away castle and fight Stern dragon in order to rescue Dannielynnpunzel.

DNA or not, if Birkhead moves to Pampa he gets three thirds, hands-down.

© Coninc., TheDownsideUp.Com 2007

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